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[Verse1_Stan(Fan)]
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin 
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom 
sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em 
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin 
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em 
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter? 
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father 
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? 
I'ma name her Bonnie 
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry 
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him 
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan 
I even got the underground shit that you did with SkamZ 
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man 
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat 
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, 
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan 
This is Stan 

[Chorus]
My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why 
I got out of bed at all 
the morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all 
And even if I could it'd all be grey, 
but your picture on my wall 
it reminds me that it's not so bad 
it's not so bad 

[Verse2_Stan]
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance 
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans 
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert 
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew 
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old 
We waited in the blistering cold for you, 
four hours and you just said, "No." 
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol 
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do 
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to 
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you 
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way 
I never knew my father neither; 
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her 
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs 
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on 
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed 
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest 
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds 
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me 
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it 
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7 
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does 
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up 
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose 
Sincerely yours, Stan 
PS. We should be together too 

[Verse3_Stan]
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve itt?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it

I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me

See Slim. (screaming) Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!

Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk